The real world Part Deux: working 9-5.....ish

After a week of paying for gas, rent, health insurance, car insurance, utilities etc, it occurred to me....I need to upgrade from being merely SUSAN : MEDIOCRE BREWER OF JAVA to someone more hip and with the times. Yes, ladies and gents it is time that I must become what history has termed the "Modern Woman"...a phrase that insinuates class, multi-tasking, corporate ladder climbing, and perfection in both career-oriented and societal spheres.... however do remember we are dealing with my skewed perception so bare with me....the best I could come up with was acquiring a second slightly more mediocre job. My new extended title reads .....


SUSAN: MEDIOCRE BREWER OF JAVA BY MORNING AND INEPT KOHL'S REGISTER OPERATOR ASSOCIATE BY NIGHT. .....

impressive I know.

The real world Part 1: the coffee blues....

Well I got all graduated with myself, and somehow I guess I deluded myself into thinking I would have no problems adjusting to "the real world". After a summer of transition so to speak, I now enter the world as SUSAN: COFFEE BARRISTA EXTRAORDINAIRE...or maybe not so extraordinaire. Yes as i just finished day number 2 on the job, one can only describe my performance as a slow painful train wreck of destruction. I choose to believe the problems sprang not from my ineptitude but from the evil incarnate known as the register. However long before I encountered the beast, I was already showing my true colors.....

Susan top 10 screw ups in her sad attempt to make coffee:

1) Stupid Susan, one must press the "whole pot" button not the "half pot" button when brewing the starting batch for the day

2) Stupid Susan - large means 16 oz XL means 20 oz

3) Stupid Susan - hit void when you have screwed up the register.

4) no hit void

5) VOID

6) ITS THE BLUE BUTTON ON THE BOTTOM OF THE REGISTER THAT SAYS VOID

7) Stupid Susan, make sure the customer PAYS for their cup of coffee before they leave...especially when its $20.00's worth of coffee

8) Stupid Susan, when the register say 2.32 do not charge them 23.20

9) 2+2 = 4

10) Stupid Susan- you walking disaster....go wash the dishes while somebody who is competent takes over the register.

and so it continues....if i make it a full week i will be shocked