Leap this ........

Happy Leap Day One and all! I have decided to devote my latest blog to the infamous question burning a hole in the back of everyone's minds this fine day....Why the hell do we need an extra day in February? I mean really, what the fuck is leap year other than a serious pain in the ass? February is one of those worthless months ( much like its unhappy and often tragic competition -March) that falls in the dead of winter, a season that by this time has grown older than mold on the bottom of my coffee pot. The shiny Christmas glow has worn off and the "epiphanies" of the New Year have already laid waste to poundage and credit card bills. In one short and brief hyphenated word....mother-fucker.

So, I just have to know who is responsible for this travesty. After wasted hours of research which should have been spent on finishing my taxes, I have filtered through the information presented to me in several lame websites seeking to reassure me with false promises that Feb. 29 is actually a time honored tradition that should be embraced and celebrated by kindergartens everywhere.

So lets begin with the facts.....A leap year is a year in which one extra day has been inserted, or inter calculated, at the end of February. A leap year consists of 366 days, whereas other years, called common years, have 365 days. So in essence it is an extension to prolong the repercussions of over indulging at Christmas time. Actually there is a mathematical formula to figuring the inner workings of the calender gods where this minor holiday is concerned...

1. Every year that is divisible by four is a leap year;
2. of those years, if it can be divided by 100, it is NOT a leap year, unless
3. the year is divisible by 400. Then it is a leap year.

....woot.

but this doesn't really answer my question now does it. Why does it need to be February...why not June or September both perfectly respectable months unconnected with snow-removal, salt staines and black ice.

apparently leap years are needed to keep our calendar in alignment with the earth's revolutions around the sun (like the earth is going to blow up if this doesn't happen)...but for the sake of maintaining order and stability where the earth revolutions are concerned I will concede to the addition of an extra day to the calender year ...but again...if we have to add a day in the damn calender why does it have to be in February? Let the research continue....

Apparently leap year is party to a slew of sappy traditions not unlike V.D....that is Valentines day. A tradition was introduced many centuries ago to allow women to propose to men during a leap year- this privilege of proposing was restricted to leap day in some areas. Halla' back to women's rights yo... Leap day was sometimes known as “Bachelors’ Day” which completely compliments Valentines day- a celebration of leg-shackling relationships. A man was expected to pay a penalty, such as a gown or money, if he refused a marriage offer from a woman. The tradition’s origin stemmed from an old Irish tale referring to St Bridget striking a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men every four years. This old custom was supposedly made to balance the traditional roles of men and women in a similar way to how the leap day balances the calendar, let me try to contain my excitement. Somehow it seems to me this day would coincide with the mysterious disappearance of men throughout the world.
Leap Year is also considered to be unlucky for A). someone to be born on a leap day in Scotland and B) for couples to marry on a leap year, including on a leap day, in Greece. So if either A or B applies, sucks to be you...so sayeth the calender gods.

Well that really about sums it up. I found no answer to my question which leads me to believe some larger conspiracy is at work.....mayhap the beginning of the end? Well keeping in the tradition of well....nauseating traditions. I came up with a list of "jumping into" the month of March...consequently a month known for backstabbing and murder. moseltoff.


Music for a Leap Day Soundtrack......

1) Kriss Kross- Jump Jump
2) Angles and Airwaves- Jumpin' Rooftops
3) Metallica- Jump in the Fire
4) Sugar Hill Gang- Jump on It
5) Van Halen- Jump (for your love)
6) Madonna - Jump
7) Rolling Stones- Jumpin' Jack Flash
8) Third Eye- Jumper
9) David Bowie- Jump (the voices say)
10) and last but not least.......David "the Hoff" Hasselhoff's- Jump in my Car.

and for your viewing....ummm...

pleasure?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836

happy freaking leap year- here's surviving Valentines Day and to not getting stabbed in the back during March.