Trash Can bastards...

So my mother- light of my life- and my brother bobby aka robbie louise has been gone for the last two weeks. In their stead- I protector of all that is good and innocent ...Including mom's mastercard, the cybring convertible, and a blender perfect for Marguerritas..have attempted to uphold the sanctity and peace of our humble home. However this past Tuesday this sanctity was viciously destroyed by a crew of dumbass garbage men who sent our poor, harmless, standard, issued by the county- garbage can to the the great landfill in the sky. Some people might regard this as inconsequential. After all it is just a garbage can right?...well you know it all pricks, for your information this brutal attack on our garbage can started a destructive cycle which i shall further more relate in detail.

phase 1: Susan attempts to push the garbage can up her disgustingly steep driveway- which takes forever because the handles and top have been disfigured.

phase 2: Susan notices that the metal bar which allows the stupid high tech garbage machine to pick up the can is missing- replaced by two gaping holes where it used to be.

Phase 3: Susan attempts to contact someone concerning garbage can- unfortunately the phone book has conviently left out the number for the village of slinger.

Phase 4: Susan final makes contact with village of slinger and is forced to endure 45 min of elevator music while she is put on hold...which ironically ends just as she calls those at the department "a bunch of @#$#$@**&&"

Phase 5: due to the result of the last phase Susan now has to deal with an irate office lady who is less than helpful...instead she gives you the 1-800 number of the garbage office.

Phase 6: Susan having called zed number is put on hold for another 30 minutes which ironically ends just as she is calling the garbage workers "a bunch of @#$%%^".

Phase 7: due to the results of the last Phase Susan now has to once again deal with an annoyed office lady.

Phase8: office lady declares that the garbage guys would have reported damage to Susan's garbage can to which Susan reply's "bull" pissing the lady off even more.

Phase 9: office lady declares that the kamholz family will be charged 75$ for a new garbage can pissing Susan off even more

Phase 10: Susan loses her temper....

Phase 11: due the extreme nature of Susan's rath office lady removes charge ...and gives Kamholz family a free spiffy new garbage can

Phase 12: Susan finds out garbage can will not arrive for 2 1/2 weeks. Susan wonders where the now homeless garbage will go since the garbage company refuses to recognize the existence of garbagecans not of standard issue....Bastards....

Phase 13: Susan is still pissed.

The moral of this little Cycladic story is this .....Garbage people suck.