Well can you blame me.....

so even I have to admit rereading my last entry that I was hmmm....well...as my dear friend megan would say a tad bit abrasive.....I apologize if i offended any delicate sensibilities out there....NEXT TIME I'LL JUST BEAT THEM TO DEATH WITH A BROKEN BOTTLE! ENOUGH RED FOR YOU VALENTINES DAY JUNKIES!!!!!!

*cough*

I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I suppose these...lets can them Outbursts....happen from time to time. This is probably why my mother has been a bit selective in handing out my blog to relatives and family friends. She often likes to remind me that she is my mother not a friend and therefore i should probably develop a little restraint over my comments. This came after i announced to her and my sister over the car phone that I had to hang up so i could go find my bra (I had just gotten out of the shower and was waltzing about in a towel). Apparently this offended HER delicate sensibilities.....Its not like I do that with everyone...just those I know who will love me for whom i am...wa ahahaha ha.....its hard to come up with a response to that.

ooooooo, I almost forgot! Well over the weekend I made an important choice....after throughly crushing my glasses into nothingness the week before (yeah i stepped on them...through a horrible chain of events.....former roomies and family members will understand what i mean when i say chain of events). any way ....I no longer have my signature plastic buddy hollyesq frames...oh no i am now very chic....I have a sensitive metal Ralph Lauren non-reflective scratch resistant....pair of glasses....ha.....cough...yes well...i just thought i would share with the world.....yes i understand that i A) really have nothing interesting to say and B) am rather pathetic by pretending I do....Well hell i am not forcing you to read the darn blog anyway.....

and now for your daily moment of humor......

Top Warning Signs of Insanity

-Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.
-Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places thatyou wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.
-You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.
-You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
-Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.
-You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.
-You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.
-Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.
-People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.
-Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.
-You laugh out loud during funerals.
-Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.
-You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.
-You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.
-Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your little illusion.
-You collect dead windowsill flies.
-Everytime the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!"
-You like cats. Especially with mayo.
-You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you things.
-You scream "I've got a knife!" to people at your family reunion.
-You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island, because they weren't rescued.
-You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.
-Whenever you listen to the radio, the music sounds backwards.
-You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.
-You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head in the middle of your front lawn.
-Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched onit, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

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t-minus 23 more days...............