The beginning of a new season of Vomit....

Today my friends is January the 18. A Wednesday to be exact. Do you know what the implications of such a date is? No? Well I shall illuminate you. There is exactly 28 more day till THE day ....Oh yes a holiday created under what I like to refer to as the axis of evil...aka the Godiva Chocolate, Hallmark, and Tiffany's. Happy unimaginative consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day....more commonly know in narcissistic circles as Valentines Day. I as always like to prep for this grossly overrated holiday by starting the bashing fest a whole month in advance...it helps to circulate the blood. Now I am sure there are several people with significant others who will want to comment on my bitter and cynical tone...yeah well bite me .....Happy Shove Your Red and Pink Valentine Where the Sun Don't Shine 2005......I give you a poem for you lover birds out there.....umm..mom i apologize ahead of time...

Happy Valentine's Day
by
anonymous

Screw valentines day, Hearts and roses and kisses galore.
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer.
It it definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass!
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak,
And wear all black for the rest of the week.

Girls act all sweet, but it will soon fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid!
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a crock of shit.

So here's my story. . . what else can I say?
Love Bites my ass. . .Screw Valentine's Day!