The worst Christmas song ever created.

Merry Christmas one and all. Yes my dears it is once again that season of joy, love and parental fights over talking plush toys. In this Christmas spirit I would like to take this opportunity to once again reign on the proverbial holiday parade and reflect upon a certain "Christmas song" that has bugged me for years.

Let me take you all back a few decades, to a special time, a time when spandex was like high fashion and neon colors was "the new black". Released in November of 1984, and actually immediately debuted at Number One in Great Britain (which explains alot about the brits), and was Number One on the American charts two weeks later (which further more explains alot about Americans), this piece of two year old fruit cake sold over 3 million copies in Great Briton alone. So what is this miracle song, and why do i hate it so much?

Let me give you a hint- Virtually every major musical artist was involved and its theme centered around starving children in Ethiopia. That's right folks...the worst Christmas song ever written is....(drum roll please).....BAND AID'S - "DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS"

Lets take this line by line shall we.

1: It's Christmas time ...(um duh its a Christmas song)
There's no need to be afraid (there is if you live in a third world country)
At Christmas time
We let in light and we banish shade (um...except in countries where they are too poor to have electricity)
And in our world of plenty
We can spread a smile of joy (because we are well-fed, warm and have expensive cars ....unlike the children we are singing about in Africa who aren't)
Throw your arms around the world
At Christmas time

2: But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard ( I am pretty sure its hard to be starving year round not just in December)
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window...(except children who are starving in Africa really don't have fun or windows....)
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears ... (did I mention its a place called Africa?)
And the Christmas bells that ring..( SAAAANNNCCTUARY)
There are the clanging chimes of doom (yeah ....merry fucking Christmas)
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you (that's empathy for you )
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time ( BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF JESUS CHRIST THAT YOU MAY BE FEED!)
Feed the world
Do they know it's Christmas time at all? (probably not since a majority of them are Muslim, or not christian....and they are more worried about starving and getting blown up)

3: And there won't be snow in Africa...( um duh its pretty darn close to the equator so I am pretty sure A) there was never snow in Africa, B) there never will be snow in Africa ...except on
Mount Kilimanjaro but not really anymore because globe warming caused by all of us global leaders is a bitch)

This Christmas time...(we know)
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life (probably not)
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all? (no as we have established)
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time (or give them a damn sandwich)
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again (wait.....again? does that mean they knew it was Christmas time before and they just forgot? oh wait the raw gnawing empty feeling in their stomach called starvation must have made them forget....)

BRIDGE:(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone, Here's to them (because they aren't going to get any)
underneath that burning sun

Do they know it's Christmas time at all? (.....no, no they don't )

END: Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time
END: (repeat & fade)

let the vomiting begin......